Oh, the difficulties of using a “borrowed” computer.  I am signed in as a guest on this computer in my TV room.  I share it with my daughter who constantly watches “Inu Yasha” thru some TV links website.  She will then set her alarm for 4:30AM and watch it on TV.  There must be some subliminal message playing throughout each episode that addicts young teens to this show.  My friend’s daughter is also addicted, having used up HOURS upon HOURS of his DVR to record the episodes.

So, this is the second weekend I planned to have a yard sale, and I am just NOT READY.  I want to yard sale the whole house, and know that it probably isn’t wise to get rid of everything, but I do wish to get rid of a lot.  I live on a main street so I would not even have to put out a sign and bingo, driveway flooded with bargain hunters.  Next to me right now, in an upright position, is the small day bed we bought back in 2000 so my neice, who stayed with us for a couple of months, could have someplace to sleep.  Now it is a place for my kids to fall asleep in front of the TV, something I am NOT in favor of.  Plus, unless you wish to lie down, it really doesn’t lend itself to comfortable TV watching anyway.  I am replacing it with a sleep sofa.  The best of both worlds as far as I am concerned.  In the meantime, my daughter is moving her stuff in here so I can work on updating her room.  She has decided she has outgrown the “ponies” theme and wishes to move on to a “tropical” theme instead.  We have already switched out her overhead light for a hot-pink coin lamp (strings of hot pink circles hanging down…they have them a lot on HGTV shows) so her whole room now screams hot pink when she has that light on.  She is swapping out her ponies border for a tropical flower border.  She also wants to change out her curtains, her bedding, and get wall-2-wall carpet for her room.  I can hardly blame her there.  Her dad agreed to come over and switch out the wallpaper border – he also installed the screaming pink light.  She wants to keep the basic wall color because I rag painted it 10 years ago and she loves it still (whew!).  It’s blue, so she feels it’s got a sky/ocean thing going.  In order to re-do this room, I need her OUT.  Thus, she will be living in this room for a while.  Soon, very soon.

What else am I getting rid of?  Brass candlesticks.  That must have been the wedding gift for 1984 as I probably have 53 different pairs…and I don’t use them.  Buh-bye.  I still adore candles, more than you can imagine, but not being an avid collector of brass, I think I can yard sale these babies.  Also, the Audubon Society place mats are going, with the bird paintings on them.  Yeah, see ya.  Oh, and my “Ball Jar” canning collection.  I don’t collect Ball Jars !!  What the heck am I doing with so many of them??  Buh-bye.  The wine rack (wine and my genetic makeup don’t make a good match…buh-bye).  Books, the kids’ old video tapes they no longer want, old non-sentimental Christmas stuff…it’s all going. 

Not sure if I can describe the liberating feeling.  It is amazing.  So much held so much sentimental value while I was married.  Now it is nothing more than an object.  If I hold onto this object – for this example let’s use that fluted brass candlestick – what does that say about me as far as being a good steward of God’s money?  “But it looks great stored in that hutch cupboard!  Especially the way that red candle melted on it during the last power outage!”  I think not.  I have grown beyond that brass candlestick.  I married at age 23, I was a child.  Truly, I was a child.  Colin, at age 19, is far more worldly, savvy, and mature than I was at 23.  Life was still filled with Princess Diana, ponies, theatre, song, college…and when reality hit I was grossly unprepared.  My world was shaken.  I couldn’t comprehend and ill-equipped to make sensible decisions.  I was a CHILD.  Those candlesticks belong to those childish days.  I am older and wiser (not “sadder but wiser” as they say in the Music Man).  My candlesticks will be of Noritake Royal Hunt china!  Or they will be Yankee Candles!  Or perhaps an aged silver, still holding themselves with dignity, waiting for a candle to grace their tops.

So enough “waxing” about candlesticks!

I had an oak tree fall in my yard.  The truth is, if an oak tree falls, and no one sees it?  It does NOT make a sound.  Just thought you would like to have the answer to that age-old question.  My friend, Katie, is coming to chain saw it all up tomorrow and save it for firewood this winter.  Convenient lawn clean up for me, free firewood for her.  WIN WIN situation here.

Colin has moved back in, I can’t see any previous postings of mine so I don’t believe I had said that before.  He is clean (praise GOD!) and is working double shifts so I don’t generally see him, however, he is shooting hoops in the driveway right now.  I told him Roey’s youth group was playing waffle ball tonight, would he like to join them, but he said, “Um, yeah, no I’m all set”  Church people, you see.  He might have to talk to them.  EEEEEEK!

Cuyler, my youngest, on the other hand, has moved out.  He now lives with his dad who is currently unemployed and able to provide constant supervision and structure for him.  I work long hours and couldn’t possibly do what Geoffrey does for him.  This, though heartbreaking, is a GOOD thing.  Geoffrey’s house is in a family neighborhood, his dad, aka “Grampa” is always home as well.  He has structure, stability, and adult supervision ALL THE TIME.  He has made friends quickly, something easy to do when you live in a family neighborhood, something impossible when you live on a main street.  He rides his bike everywhere. 

I cannot describe my feelings about him not living here.  I know he is better off with Geoffrey, but my heart breaks.  I miss him.  But when he was here this weekend, I got so aggravated with him!  How awful is that?  All he did was argue with his friend from church who spent the afternoon with him.  His friend blamed himself, I said, OH NO, it was Cuyler.  I let Cuy sleep in my room both Friday and Saturday nights, I held him tightly all night.  I think I was trying to absorb the feel of him, the sound of his breath, the touch of his blond hair, the smell of his skin, so I would never ever forget.  I wanted him to know that although he lived with his dad and step mom, I was the Mummy.  I was the one who loved him to the point where I would truly give up my own life for his.  Was I being selfish when I held him all night long?  I don’t know which part was for me and which part was for him.  He just told me how much it meant to him.  To feel safe and snuggled in my arms.  Wow.  I wish I could also provide the stability in his life that he needs.  I can’t.  His dad can.  What a humbling experience.  Praise Jesus, He walks with me every moment or else I would collapse with a deep- rooted pain.

I bought a bike!  I used to own a 10-speed oh so many years ago…it was my sole source of transportation.  I rode for miles, for pleasure, to get to work, to get to the library…anywhere I needed to go, I rode my bike.  I thought nothing of hopping on my bike and riding 20 miles.  I have not been on a bike in 23 years.  So, “fat lady on a bicycle” gets on last Sunday night…and wobbles.  But you really don’t forget.  My daughter and I practiced at the industrial park on Monday night.  What a wonderful feeling it was.  I REMEMBERED the joy of being on a bike.  It never really left me.  I had just tucked it away somewhere.  I found that joy!!!  WOOHOOO!!  So now I have a silver schwinn, 10 speed, shimano breaks, some light blue trim…but it has been too hot this week (in the 90’s) to ride after work.  Prayerfully this weekend we can do some more riding.

My love life?  Well…yes, I do want one.  I really am someone who wants to marry again, who believes in the institute of marriage.  I want a man I can respect, honor, love (and dare I say, obey?) but in a biblical sense.  My love life could be ok, just on hold…I am not sure…it all depends on a certain someone on Lake Huron.  He is worth waiting for, I believe, but I cannot pine for at this time.  Not a healthy thing for either of us.  He is going through some overwhelming life changes, and I think I came along when the rest of his world was in a whirlwind.  I am waiting for the hurricane to be declared a tropical storm.  Prayerfully, I won’t be disappointed.  If I am?  The loss was his (and honestly, the loss would be mine, too, but God will see me through). 

So has everyone received the “48 questions” email from someone?  I will try to add it to my blog, I would love to hear the responses.  I enjoyed answering them, and have thoroughly enjoyed the responses! 

How is everyone else doing?  What teachings in church are you learning?  Where are you in your Bible studies?  Are you able to grow flowers in your garden better than I can?  (sorry that was a trick question, everyone can answer “yes” to that one).  Can you ride a bicycle? 

Feel free to drop me a line, share your lives, your faith, your recent bible studies with me, I love it all.

May God bless you all today…may He bring you strength and insight, a filling of the Holy Spirit, joy unceasing, and a sense of peace which surpasses all else.

Lols